Junk Food is Delicious

     I mean, seriously. How good does this look? I want to eat healthier and eat more fruit so I can run like the Tarahumara (please read Born to Run) and become invincible--insert Lion King epiphany music here--but everything's just too tempting! So I'm going to help out my dear readers and offer some handy junk-food counseling (she says, acting like the expert health nut while eating a Boston cream doughnut) by sharing some cool snack recipes that are healthy and good and all that schnazzy jazz. So without further ado, I present to you the impossible--a nutritious and wholesome food that actually TASTES GOOD. Mind blown.
           Super Simple, Super Succulent, Super Salubrious Fruit Tart! Thesaurus that.

Filling--I'm assuming you're going to take the lazy way out and buy a pie crust from your grocery store of choice

• 1 1/2 cups low-fat vanilla yogurt
• 2 tablespoons orange juice
• 1 teaspoon unflavored gelatin
• 1/4 cup whipping cream, if you want
• 2 tablespoons confectioners' sugar
• 3 tablespoons of some kind of jam/jelly/preserves, for glaze (optional)
• 4-5 cups fresh fruit, such as strawberries, raspberries, peaches and/or kiwis

PREPARATION

1. To make filling: Pour orange juice into a large heatproof bowl. Sprinkle gelatin over the surface and allow to soften for 2 minutes. Set the bowl in a skillet of simmering water and stir the orange juice to completely dissolve the gelatin. (Or use a microwave-safe bowl and heat in the microwave for about 25 seconds.) Beat cream and sugar to soft peaks in another bowl.
2. Fold the drained yogurt into the gelatin mixture with a rubber spatula. Gently fold in the whipped cream. Pour the filling into the tart shell and chill in refrigerator until partially set, 20 to 30 minutes.
3. To assemble tart: If you plan to glaze the fruit, melt apricot preserves (or red currant jelly) in a small saucepan over low heat; if using preserves, strain through a fine sieve set over a small bowl. Set aside to cool slightly.
4. Trim or slice fruits as necessary and arrange on the chilled filling. Brush the fruits with the apricot (or currant) glaze, if using. Return the tart to the refrigerator to chill until the filling has set completely, about 4 hours.

Holden Caulfield Thinks You're a Phony

Day due of this picture thing! I decide to theme it on a book that I originally thought was pretty lame, but I came to appreciate the humor of it in my old age. If you don't understand the title of this blog, YOU'VE NEVER LIVED! Just joshing ya, it's a reference to the quality book Ze Catcher in ze Rye. I was just looking up book quotes and I came upon the one and only Holden. So here's the picture.

Some amusing person from the Internet titled this picture "Holden goddam Caulfield." I take it they read the book.

Okay, so here are some great quotes from the book and from the amazing mind of our dear depressed Holden. I thought these were funny, I really did. For real.

“And I have one of those very loud, stupid laughs. I mean if I ever sat behind myself in a movie or something, I'd probably lean over and tell myself to please shut up.” 

“Certain things, they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone.” 

“I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I'm going, I'm liable to say I'm going to the opera. It's terrible.”

“Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.”

“How would you know you weren't being a phony? The trouble is you wouldn't," says Holden, on the topic of lawyers.

“I was surrounded by phonies...They were coming in the goddam window.” 

"It's funny. Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.” AWW!

"I didn't want a bunch of stupid rubbernecks looking at me when I was all gory.” 

Poisonwood Bible Presentation

    Good morning! I'm [Rhea], and I've been reading this interesting book by the name of The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver. I'm only on page 1o9 out of about 55o pages, but already the book seems well-written and captivating. The story documents the somewhat awkward and uncomfortable experiences of an ex-pat family from Georgia that moves to Africa, right in the midst of total anarchy (VO-CAB!) in the Congo. The setting of the book is one that's not too commonly written about, which is why I find the book so interesting. I would definitely recommend this book to those who like learning about different countries and cultures. Thanks for listening, and I hope you're inspired to read this novel! *waits humbly for applause* Any questions?

    I have to memorize this for tomorrow to recite in front of my gosh darn WHOLE ENTIRE l.a. class. Aaah, Timmy noise! Wish me luck; ya know how I am with oral presentations. We also had one today in social studies, for Black History Month. My three top prospects were Jesse Owens, Bill Cosby, and *dur* Michael Jackson, but I decided on Jesse Owens. Pretty interesting stuff, huh? I'm sure you just la-la-love hearing about what I do in school, day in and day out. Well, au revoir for ze night!

holycrudmonkeysitsalmostmybirthday,

Rhea of the Elves

The Secret of the Universe

   Yes folks, you read correctly! This very blog houses the true reason for your existence, right here in these few paragraphs of genius. The secret of the universe is... IS...

   This is a heading-thing that I wrote a few weeks ago but kept as a draft, and it's NOT FUNNY, PAST RHEA! I honestly have no idea what I was going to write here, and now I'm sad. Sorry guys, for letting you down without the secret of the universe. I'll try to remember for next time, but you know about me and remembering...
   We've got some serious snow ahora! Apparently the blizzard itself is called Winter Storm Nemo, and there are all sorts of internet scandals going on about how ridiculous it is to be named that; see for yourselves... My dad bought a generator after Sandy, but apparently it's not actually connected to the heat of the house, so we'll have our wi-fi and our microwave, sure, but NO HEAT! Jeez. I guess that leaves us all plenty of time to work on our book reports due Monday. I'm doing mine on The Help, and the poster's gonna be in the shape of a typewriter! Cool beans, huh? Creative book reports are the best.
   And obviously we're all gonna need some ill-nasty tunes for the snowy weekend and lounging about our rooms in our jammies, right guys? So I've supplied you with some, yes, pretty ill-nasty (to quote Jenna Marbles) tunes/dance videos to clumsily laugh to while you're stuck at home. Enjoy these few songs, and be a hipster because no ladles and gentlespoons, you will not find these on Z100!

Caramelldansen = best Swedish dance EVERRRR.

Marina and the Diamonds, aka Marina Diamandis. How cool is that?! Your LAST NAME is like diamonds!

I mean, who doesn't appreciate a good Run-D.M.C., y'all? Good stuff! You be illin', illin'...

Sigh... Beyonce's the coolest. I love this song, it's the bomb diggity! Which brings us to... that's right, Pitch Perfect fans:

NO DIGGITY! Alrighty folks, annoy your grumpy siblings/Krupples/parents (nah, don't, love ya Mom and Dad), et cetera with your incessant dancing and gal power. Adieu for now, and stay safe in the snow!

The 8 Books You Meet in Heaven

   Hey, everyone! We haven't really had a book review/list on here in a while, so I figured it was jolly well time to make one. These are all awesometatious (ahem, rated awesome) books that I've just read in the past month or so, and they may be easy reads for some and hard for others. Note: I am indeed aware that many of our friends are really into fantasy and paranormal stuff (Maximum Ride, anyone?), but I'll be sorry to disappoint y'all in saying that most of these are realistic fiction. Sorry, guys! Maybe you'll assist in another more sci-fi book list centered around James Patterson next time around? Can't wait for comments! I'm going to include our current book club book on here too (5 People You Meet in Heaven) because it's really well written and makes ya think! Shout-out to Miss Giulia--grazie!
                                                             THE BOOK LIST
*Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls--the chronicles of a girl (and her 3 siblings) growing up with a tax-evading father who spends all his money on alcohol and a wishy-washy mother who would rather make detailed paintings of wildlife than care about her needy family (PLUS, it's a biography! So all this is real!), so her kids walk around cooking hot dogs on the stove at the age of three and setting themselves on fire, and getting locked in possessed playhouses, and punching their grandmas
*The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini--sorry guys, but I did my book report on this just a few weeks ago and I really, REALLY do not want to make a descriptive summary on this. But it's about a boy named Amir who lives in Afghanistan whose best friend, Hassan, is also his servant. Obviously there is some sort of squabble, and Amir and Hassan are separated when Amir and his father move to California, but Amir can't stop thinking about what he made Hassan go through for the rest of his sad, sad life...
*Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling--I would hope that y'all know the basic storyline of Jungle Book from the Disney movie, but the book itself is even cooler, if you're that kind of person. Kipling has really poetic stuff, and also he places random territorial chants that you and your friend gang can adopt and scream at that certain other group when they act like the bandar-log, aka monkey people. For example:
     Here we go in a flung festoon,
     Halfway up to the jealous moon!
     Don't you envy our pranceful bands?
     Don't you wish you had extra hands?
     Wouldn't you like it if your tails were--so--
     Curved in the shape of a cupid's bow?
        Now you're angry, but--never mind,
        BROTHER, THY TAIL HANGS DOWN BEHIND!      Genius, no?
*Theater Geek by Mickey Something-or-Other--perfect for, well, theater geeks.
*The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak--no words can truly describe this. Just get the book, is all I'm sayin'.
*Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks (?)--this is historical fiction set in 1600s-England in the lovely mountain villages where WOMEN JOLLY WELL AREN'T RESPECTED AT ALL! Now I must go read Between Shades of Gray, not to be confused with 50 Shades of That Same Colour.
*The Lorax by Dr. Seuss--I read this weekly and never get tired of it. Best message in the history of cute cartoon characters shaped like orange peanuts who despise consumerism, although I guess you can't really describe a color as a shape. Oh well.
*The Eleventh Plague by Jeff Hirsch--I must confess that I haven't actually finished reading it yet, but it's very futuristic and sort of reminds me of The Hunger Games because the world is sort of annihilated beyond repair, and there's also some forbidden romance going on... ooooh! To Amour--"A whole conversation! So proud!"
    So that's all for now, everyone! Thanks for listening and read these awesome books. Stay tuned for an extracurriculars post, a Studio Ghibli post (Taliaaa...?), and more! Yahoo! Okay, bye all.

Performances, Performances (Oh, yeah! Good luck to PAHM as Boq!)

HELLO!
     Well guys, as you may have figured out from me ditching this blog for--how long was it again?--ah yes,   a week and a day, which is longer than I ever have, I'm taking a break from blogging. I may post once in a while, but I wouldn't get my hopes up for, say, a post every day... again, I'm sorry, guys! It's nothing personal, of course :) BUT here's just a recap of what happened over the past week:
*I hung out with my friend EJ and *sigh* got stuck with Heinous Little Brothers 1 & 2 the whole time, but at least we got to make this cool blanket-slash-pillow fort...
*MY FRIENDS PAHM, SLUGGY, AND I MET CHRIS COLFER (Kurt on Glee, but if you don't know who he is, well, I pity you ☺) BECAUSE HE WROTE HIS OWN BOOK AND HAD A BOOK SIGNING RIGHT NEAR MY TOWN!!! My apologies to Telt the Pelt... if I had known sooner, I would have given you at the very least a heads-up! 
*My mom's good friend flew over from Chicago to visit for the weekend, and we went to Greenwich, in Connecticut for those of you unaware. It was so adorable! Look out, Boston... plus there were the most delicious crepes there, and we all know how much I love crepes!
*I did a ton of my summer work, so all I have left is some math and science, the latter of which I don't understand at all. Are any of my school friends having trouble as well? I'd love to hear from you in a comment if so!
*I watched the finale of Food Network Star, where my favorite cook Justin Warner won! He's really unique and creative, not to mention a übertalented cook.

*I watched the Teen Choice Awards, where my true love Kevin McHale was co-hosting... and he wore pants with jellyfish on them...  ← (there's Demi Lovato on the right) which happen to be my 3rd favorite animals after squids (#1) and dinosaurs (#2)! There were a lot of cool performances too, like my good friend *wink wink* Flo Rida (although he sounds much better when he's not live... sorry, Flo!) and Carly Rae Jepsen, and... well, you get my point, right? It was entertaining. I made rude and derogatory commentary the whole time, complaining about certain peoples' hair, outfits, songs, and "comebacks" (Gwen Stefani, anyone? Although I must say that I did think her performance was pretty good), and I'm sure that my brother and mother were glad to get away from me and my criticism for a while. Sorry about that, you too! Luckily, my dad was spared. 
     So I believe that was about it. I'm planning on watching the very first episode of Project Runway, season 10 soon, and I can't wait! I don't think any of them will beat out my dear Mondo, but I could be wrong... 
stay cool and start writing your autobiography before you become famous in the field of your choice,
Pinky ~ (darn! Why don't les squigglies look cool in this font? They're quite cute... oh vell. Maybe next font...?)

The Perils of Italian Ices

'Ello, chappies! :)

        Today was Field Day at skool (yeahhh, I'm cool! LOL), but it wasn't much fun because my only friend on my team was Oldman, and those who know her are aware of the fact that she is very serious about her sports. My idea of a "serious" time playin' sports is laughing maniacally with my friends, singing Airplanes (B.o.B) or Smooth Criminal (honestly. I don't need to tell you who sings this), and dancing the completely sonderbar *German! Ja!* dance--that I sorta kinda a little copied from Just Dance 3--to Back in Time (Pitbull). So we don't exactly see eye to eye in that department. 

        During the majority of the time, I basically walked around the field, looking lost... and it didn't exactly help that my whole team was great at basketball and soccer and all them apples, but I was the one bringing everyone down. A bad feeling, I tell you! :) But then the torture ended *whew! Finally...* and we had a partay-type-thing with pizza and Italian ices. 

       Now I have to lecture you guys on the hazards of Italian ices. One, I'm not even sure they're Italian (c'mon! Who can trust Americans anymore after we find out that fortune cookies originated from Japan?!), and if they are, they only came from Marco Polo bringing ideas to Emperor Nero, who liked to fiddle. Or maybe I'm just thinking of Principal Nero from the... (4th? 5th? Yeah...) 5th book in the Series of Unfortunate Events. Either way, I rest my case. Huh... who knew? An S.S. lesson! Chortle chortle guffaw!

        Second point: it's disgustingly artificial! A bunch of my friends (you know who you are, Jezebel!) had jes' about three or four cups of Italian ice and their lips and teeth were all blue--hokay, that part was funny--but that's just... nasty! How can you eat so much airless flavor? I'm sure it's all just sugar and eventually we'll all have major cavities. Is it REALLY worth it?

        So you guys gotta remind me to show you my new R2-D2 lunchbox! It's actually one of those tin ones that's so epically retro-rad and AWESOMETATIOUS! Can't wait to show y'all. I'm just too lazy to take pix right now. Haw haw... sorry :) 

       OH MY GUM!!! I actually just found it online! Here's a pic for all to see, and I'll share the story with you prettay soon. 

Thanks, geekalerts.com! I love how all the sites that showed up have either "nerd" or "geek" in them. eatsleepgeek.com, geekalerts.com, thatsnerdalicious.com (LOL!), geekextreme.com, absolutelygeeky.tumblr.com... very nice, guys! Stay geeky like my science teacher Mr. Doherty (you shoulda seen his face when I showed him R2-D2!)! 

lurve,

Pinky alla Moda xx

We Salute You, Dr. Seuss!

Ahoy, mateys (I'm officially trying to come with new ways to greet my ever-enthusiastic followers, instead of the uniform "Hey, guys", even if it means saying something wacky)! Today I have gathered quotes from my all-time favorite quote-sayer... well, besides Confucius. Do I hear something in the audience? Yup, that's right: it's Dr. Seuss! I hope you'll enjoy his words of wisdom, and take them into account! They really are a great lesson. And you can comment if you've found any that I have overlooked. Although the quotes are cool, I think the pictures are some of my favorite parts of the whole thing. So: twah-lah!
                                     Sincerely, the Lorax

Book List- Seriously People, You Can Trust ME!!

OK everybody, as y'all probably know, I'm a complete and utter bookworm and wordie, so I've always wanted to do a post about book picks. Finally, my aspiration *vocab word!!* is coming true, so here y'all are: a look into the mind of moi, Pinky, in terms of great literature! :) Hope you enjoy!

~The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot (Comment: The main character, Mia, is very realistic and she has a great personality!! Plus, who doesn't want to wake up one morning and find out that you're a princess?? LOL. I just got into these a few weeks ago, and now I'm asking to go to the library every day to get more of them!)
~Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli; Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli (Comment: Stargirl is about this girl ((named Stargirl)) who is kinda strange (((but she's cool to me!))) but it's good. And Love, Stargirl is like that too, except I like it better because it's from Stargirl's perspective.)
~Smile by Raina Telgemeier (Comment: It's pretty funny; it's about a girl who 1) has serious dental problems, and 2) has really mean friends who make fun of her and she just puts up with it. And of course, other stuff mixed in. Great read!)
~Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery (Comment: I know this sounds old, but it's a really imaginative book. I did a book report on it earlier this year, and I really liked it. If you don't want a really long book with small print, I suggest not getting the actual version of the book... get a Great Illustrated Classics copy, which has much less words and it's a lower reading level. Of course, the first version is better, but the G. I. C. is the next best thing.)
~The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin (Comment: Need I say more?)
~How to Rock Braces and Glasses by Meg Haston (Comment: This is about a mean, "popular" girl who has her own TV show for her school and basically publicly embarrasses people in front of the school. Then she gets braces and glasses, and her equally mean friends drop her and she goes down the social ladder and she makes a bunch of new, nice friends. It's a great *happy* ending.)
~Lynn Visible by Julia DeVillers (Comment: About a really fun, quirky, stylish fashion designer named Lynn who is misunderstood by her school because of her awesome, handmade clothes that no one realizes are awesome yet. Then a fashion magazine editor discovers her, and she's made famous, and everyone's like, OMG! Y'know, I was your friend all along, right?? But Lynn finds her TRUE friends, and everybody's happy.)
                      OK, this post is getting really long... I think I'll just do a Part Two another time... Ciao for now!! *****PINKY*****

"8 Perfect Pairs of Heirs" or "The Westing Game"- My Take on It

Now you can discover what the name "8 Perfect Pairs of Heirs" actually means!!! Here's the secret (LOL, mysterious, aren't I?): OK, so we had to read The Westing Game for school, and a lot of my friends thought it was really boring. I didn't like it either-- I LURVED IT!!! It was so mysterious and cool, and the characters were FABU! (Personally, my favorite characters were Turtle -aka T. R. Wexler xD-, Sydelle Pulaski, Denton Deere and Otis Amber.) I'm not going to spoil the ending for those of you who haven't read it, but it has a REALLY GOOD twist ending... I recommend!! <3 <3